Poetry - If I close my eyes

If I close my eyes

And hold my breath

I can pretend

That your hand is still holding my cheek

Or that your arm is there

Lying gently against my back

Or that your eyes are still looking into mine

But it’s only if

I close my eyes

I find that I lose track of time

Because I’m not asleep

But I am dreaming

Of how it was

And how quickly it is not

And I toy with the idea

Beneath closed eyelids

That I can still see all the things

I want

I can actually lose myself

Usually triggered by something

That reminds me of before

I can fall back to moments

When my eyes are also not open

I can feel the softness of your breath

As your lips touch mine

And how I smile

As you nibble at my lips

Or pull my face closer to yours

But then I have to open my eyes

And notice

That you’re gone